Oh, visitor-one, won't you sign our guestbook? Our lovely lovely guestbook? Because the guestbook is just so lovely.

Saturday, September 21, 2002

Guess what, guess what, guess what?

I named my first MiniDisc Album Thingie:

"Burning Eloquence of Orlando Bloom."

Isn't that just EXCELLENT?

No! Wait! I need to find a Dave Barry's Excellent Name for a Rockband.

Orlando's Kitchies?

Nooooooo... that sounds naughty. Put any suggestions in the guestbook.

Half of the five hours is Weezer, obviously... the other half is all the Strokes, and Rooney, and the Hives and one Yo La Tengo song. I think there's "Velouria" by the Pixies on there. But we shall see, we shall see.... maybe that all girl and one guy all-bass band. What's that one called again? Must go check. The new Emily Strange layout is cool, as I love her kitty kitty. Plus, free patches. I need a "Feline Appreciation" patch because everybody knows cats are so much more intelligent than dogs. Oh, and "Superstitious is Nutritious." Yep.

AW! Cute shirt, cute shirt. "Don't call Emily, she'll call you." "Emily didn't search to belong. She searched to be lost."

If Emily had her way, every day would be grey.

Meow Myself and I.

Friday, September 20, 2002

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Shoe designer Steven Madden has started serving his 41-month prison term, according to his attorney.

Madden, who pleaded guilty in May 2001 to conspiracy to commit money laundering and securities fraud, surrendered at the federal prison camp at Eglin Air Force Base in Florida on Wednesday, attorney Joel Winograd said.

"He's doing just fine," said Winograd. "He just wants to get this chapter behind him and become a useful citizen again."

Madden, founder of trendy shoe retailer Steven Madden Ltd., was originally scheduled to begin serving his sentence in August, but the beginning of the term was delayed.

Winograd said he expects Madden to serve about a year and a half, after consideration for good behavior and participation in an alcohol rehabilitation program.

As a teenage girl, I shall hope that we all mourn the loss of the brilliant shoe designer. Who knows, we could possibly have a new line of "kinky bitch" designs when he gets out... *inserts more snarky jokes*

And finally, it's the weekend. I can play on Photoshop. I don't have to do homework. I can play with Cute Graphite2 tablet. Be antisocial. Whatever. *dances* And, plus, I can update the members list...

*cackles*

WHOOH! FUNNY JOKE!

"I never lo-o-o-o-oved you when you lllloooooooved me!
Tae-Bo Works, See Tae-Bo Works!
I've got the floor!
A woohoo!"

That was a compilation of Rooney songs. I loff Rooney. But I stopped the website. So that's not happening, nooooooo. But... oh, god, I want to be one of those truly awesome graphic designer-drawer people. I mean, I can sort of draw. My mom almost majored in art, but decided to be a tech writer. I have options which is good, but I am never veering into music, because that will be the death of me. It's that or starvation.

Goin' to Trader Joe's, because there's one in Glen Ellyn. Whoops, just told you where I live. Or kinda live.

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

I got a Graphire2 Wacom Drawing Tablet for my birthday in RUBY color. I can't draw, or use Corel Paintshop, but I guess I do know! Well, I tried to do a fake-Anna-Nicole-Show thing with the pen (spent several hours drawing Pouting Legolas, and then gave up). So, I need to know how to draw. Because I suck, and therefore need lessons.

I got a Walkman Minidisc, too. It's so cute in real person. I'm going to put my new Strokes & Weezer albums on there. New Weezer is not as good as old Weezer. *glomps Rooney* And Phantom Planet is not as good as Rooney, although I do like California. My sister got the White Stripes 'White Blood Cells' CD, which I also am going to pirate. I have no USB ports left.

But look at it! Doesn't it just squeal CUTENESS? All sleek and sexy, and all so MINE. 5 hours of music on one teeny disk. So so so so so cool. Plus, not to mention, "Ralph" scent, two new bags ( yay! Bags! Mine mine mine!), red shirt, nail polish thingies, those CDs, and cake.

But then I had to go to the orthodontist today,and I feared for my life because there was a new, young, and blonde peppy assistant there (they're ALL girls except for the orthodontist, which I think is so stupid because females are far more capable than males) and she took FOREVER putting the lacing on, making to see that I did, in fact, feel pain on every single one of my teeth as she did that.

"Does that hurt?" the not-more-than-22-year-old girl asked, looming over me in Giant Surgical Mask, and Big Ouchy Cornea-Burnin' Light.

"Jahalah," I reply, as her fingers are twiddling about in my mouth, poking and prodding various teeth and going, "hmm."

I mean, her fingers aren't talking. She is.

"What?" she asks, blinking. I point at her fingers, and widen my eyes as though to say, "Ow."

"Ohhhh! Sorry, I'm new."

"Oh, couldn't even tell," I lied, through my Hurtin' Burnin' Teeth.

"Your brushing is better than last time."

"Okay." And then I think, 'they don't write don't my brushing habits, and she's never seen me before. My gums are clearly probably in the early stages of gingivitis.'

"So, does THIS hurt?" she asks later, as she rewires my bottom teeth, my lips cracking open and bleeding in angsty turmoil, the wires pocking into my fleshy cheeks.

"Yes, in fact, it does."

She blinks again, and says, "Sorry, these wires are kind of sharp."

I nod, trying so hard not to make the smug smirk. Joy. Then I drove home with mum. You heard me correctly. I DROVE. I, as in me, and not my mother, drove. And I got two more Birthday Cards from Ali 2. I need cookies. I have to do my homework, but all I wanna do is play with my drawing tablet.

And Orli.

And by the way.... The Four Feathers... Oh. God. Just realized how very hot Heath Ledger happens to be. I always got paired up with him in personality tests. Mrrrrrrahahaha. And then I crossed out his name and wrote "Orlando" instead.

And so on and so forth.

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

OH MY GOD!

*glomps Lindie*

SHE SENT ME A GIANT GIANT ORLANDO POSTER! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

He.. is just.. and then all the other pictures you sent me before that, and your card, and AWWWW.... I got it TODAY WHICH IS MY BIRTHDAY. *dies* I loff all of you so much, Ali 1, Ali 2, Justine, and Lindie, you guys are the greatest online buddies EVER. Ali 2, your chipmunk-playing card- and the chipmunk/squirrels DANCE as they play their little violins... that's a classic. I am so highly entertained. Really. And Ali 1... that Enrique Iglesias Card. *mock-glares* but the other one made up for it, and I am really so glad I met you guys, so here is my little tribute to you all... Justine, whom I've known since... I was 12 or 13, and Lindie, about since then as well, and Ali, who I met about a year later, and Ali 2, who I met this early summer, who is equally rockin'.

I am so cheery today. I glowed, and it was picture day as well. So many people wished me happy birthday, and I felt so loffed. What would be great is if Jimmy Fallon, and Orli would come over and sing to me. But yes. It was an excellent birthday schoolday, and tonight I'm going to my friend's dorm to watch Gilmore Girls with her, and then I come home and get Gallete des Rois (French thing), and PRESENTS and hopefully a call from my father.

So I want to say to all the viewers of the Legolog: you guys are absolutely great, and your recurrent visits make it all worthwile, as do the guestbook comments, even the attempted-flame ones. You guys make me laugh, your submissions make me pissed off, but all and all I loff you guys too, and now I'm veering off into sappy and highly chipper, so I'm going to go enjoy the day of my birth...

wait, I have to explain to you guys where I was born and all that!

The little bundle of screaming joy (uh, me) known as Cornelia Clasina Bloom (all right, I didn't know I'd marry Orli at the time) was born at 10:12 in the morning to first-time parents, Mummy and Dad, in Gilroy, California, Garlic Capital of the World, on September 17th, 1986, in Wheeler Hospital, which is now an old people's home. But I digress. My mother felt what she said was cramps, and had Papa take her to the hospital two blocks away, and she started swearing heavily and breathed out,

"I. Need. Drugs."

The doctors replied cheerfully, "Well, let's just take a look."

And so they did.

"Well, Becky," the doctor announced. "Possibly the reason why you're in so much pain is because your baby's head is showing."

So, unlike my sister, who took 15 hours of long, painful labor (I asked my mom if she resents the Child for that, and she said no, of course not), I was out in a mere 20 minutes, as I was most likely covered in a lot of spit bubbles.

And then they decided to name me Cornelia, (cornehleeah) my middle name Clasina (clahsseehna), after my grandmother and my great-aunt Clasina, and because there were already 73 Cornelias in my father's side of the family. They were considering "Simon" as a name if I were a boy.

All I can say is, "I'm so glad I'm not a boy."

And if I were a boy I couldn't really rightfully snog Orlando in a cab on the way home, really.

Well, maybe if he was drunk enough.

Actually, I think he would need to be unconscious if I were a girl, so, no matter. Ali, I cannot see your lovely fansign. I do so wish I could. I need some birthday clip art. Hold on.

All right. *whispers softly* And off I go, my first day being 16 years old. Rockin'. I got my permit yesterday, too. Also groovy.

Hello, Log readers! It's the one-and-only Nellie's birthday today, so go and send her lots of love!

Monday, September 16, 2002

"Don't worry. I will be."

*dies dies dies dies*

"Slytherin's got a new Seeker."

*falls over*

*sneers* "Oh, dear, we aaaaaaare in trouble."

"Pixies?"

*dies*

"You'll never catch ME, Potter!"

*freaks out*

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!

AHHH!!!

AHHHH!!!!!!

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!

SENSORY OVERLOAD! AHHHHH! RON'S VOICE! HARRY'S VOICE! DRACO AND HARRY! OLIVER! THE HOWLER! AHHH!! "BLOODY BIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*freaks out some more*

I CANNOT WAIT. BOOTLEG COPY. MUST BE AROUND. SOMEWHERE. I NEED TO BE IN THAT MOVIE.

Sunday, September 15, 2002

Orlando Bloom--"my real name, and a hard one to live up to"--was born in Canterbury, England. He won competitions reciting poetry and Bible passages. "I was always meeting really cool European chicks," says Bloom, who lost his viriginity to "an English rose" at fourteen. He's had a way with women ever since.

Though he favors Jeff Buckley and Ben Harper, as befits a serious actor, Bloom is also pleased to be the lord of the teen-girl Web rings. "Maybe our generation is more about sex, but it feels like romance is dying out," he says. "In England, when you meet someone, you're normally quite drunk and end up having some messy little snog in a cab on the way home."

THAT'S IT. I'M MOVING TO ENGLAND, AND NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME. I NEED TO BE AN ENGLISH ROSE, IT IS NO MATTER TO ME THAT I AM DUTCH! I SHALL PRETEND TO BE A ROSE! THINK PETALS! THINK PETALS! ROMANCING PETALS!

I'm a European chick! So am! I lived in Paris for four years as a child! IT COUNTS, DOESN'T IT? Oh, god, pleaaaaase let it count, and my father is a Dutch CITIZEN! I have dual citizenship!

So sad.

Sigh. He was 14? That must've been interesting...

Ali, comments? It's 1 in the morning. So tired, but so full of JOIE DE VIVRE, MES AMIS! Non, je ne suis pas vraiment, uh, word for drunk in French... mais, j'ai mange (put accent on that e)... je t'adore, monsieur Bloom, y j'espere que tu nas pas de petite amie...

*stares blatantly*

It's so fun to be trilingual, it really is. Because I could say that in Spanish as well. Amd with the Babel Fish World Translator:

FREUDE ZU LEBEN, MEINE FREUNDE!

I have no idea what that means. Not the slightest bit German, no.

I'm incoherent at the moment, because my favorite author (or one of several), Meg Cabot, has this new book, All American Girl, and the girl is MY HERO. She draws Orlando Bloom pictures and refuses to give them to friends unless they're nice to her. That was such a shout out to me.

Ooh, Ali, I can finally see your post. But it hasn't been published, because Blogger's stupid. We could get Moveable Type, except I don't want to deal with PHP and CGI.

BUT OH. THE OH.

Oh, dear god...

I know he's lying there dying, but somehow I cannot... keep... eyes... off... perfect... succulent... Orlando... Body. Well, you can pretend the blood is sweat.

Geez, I'm sorry, Orlando. Your first time on the internet and you were to stumble upon this site, you would so be scarred. Don't worry, we're loffing fans. Loff = love. Squee = a even moreso high pitched squeal. Anything between asterisks indicates action. FMOB = Well, I'm not going to answer that, mostly because it's dirty (_{free monkeys on bells}). Okay, my text is eating up other text. That's not the slightest bit irritating, nooo.

I'm going to buy myself some Tolkien-themed jewelry. Perhaps a Horn of Gondor nipple ring? The One Ring Neck-Stretcher- Just Like in African Tribes, to be politically correct. Perchance a Legolas Keepsake Necklace complete with Bow and Arrow? Aw.

I loff you! Yes I do! Yes I do! You are numero uno on my list of Men To Meet and Greet and Hug! Yes you is! Yes you is! Yes, have been spending far too much time with Hoover, my cat. His legs are hurting him.

*drags Tom Felton back to Lair- uh, closet, and tosses in some David Duchovny because he's hot for a 30+ man, then realizes Tom Felton ran AWAY from Ali, so doesn't need to tie him up*

Yes, my baby sister is 14. *cries* On Tuesday I'm SIXTEEN YEARS OLD. I can't believe it. That... is just so old. I remember being young and never even thinking that I would be sixteen one day, and it's just very odd and sneaky for sixteen to sneak up on me like that. *kicks sixteen and throws it in the Fugly 80s Reject Clothes part of closet*

Ali, I will do my best to help you. *salutes Ali, then honks it* I'm glad you're doing a back-story.. for those who don't know what Even Angels Fall is, it's Ali's Draco and Hermione R-Rated Fanfic, which is Harry Potter fanfic
which, of course, I have not read, because I am not of the age of 17, of COURSE. You can find it at Schnoogle.com, look under AJC as the author. Email it to me.

I loff you too, Mr. Bloom. Ali can vouch that my name would sound excellent with his, because both our last names start with B. Mmhmm. . Cornelia Bloom. Nellie Bloom. Nel Bloom. Cornelia Clasina Bloom. Ohohohohoh. That's nice, yes it 'tis.

Ali Bloom... hmmm... Ali Felton. Actually, that sounds cool.

Ooh no. I log too much. And am still so self absorbed.