Monday, March 5th

*stupid smile on face*

Saw it... Saw Legolas... Cannot talk.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
-nellie


Saturday, March 3nd
Get this: I went OUTSIDE today. I kid you not. BLIZZARD LIKE CONDITIONS. Twas cold.

Oh my God, did you know the sky was BLUE??

I did not know that. Orlando, I'm going to go see you
be all pretty and swifty on top of the snow tomorrow
seeing as I'm going to see LOTR. Again.

*grins madly*

Ali, don't worry, I'm going to help you out with the new ftp thingie situation here. I'm just incredibly slow. New Very Secret Diaries. Am excited. Still not king myself.

By the way, I hate the Gilmore Girls section of Fanfiction.net. Most of the Trory writers SUCK.

Yeah, that's right, you SUCK, stop writing.

-nellie


Thursday, February 28th
AHH! AHH! I LOVE MY NEW HOST! LOVE THEM LOVE THEM LOVE THEM!

Well, not as much as Orlando, of course.

Today I have piano lessons. You think Orlando plays?

Ooh, Ali, don't you even start thinking of things to do
on a piano bench, you naughty piece of... Um. Australia.

My mom reads this log. Ha ha! She thinks I whine too much. I only whine because I have no Orlando.

*cries*

-nellie

Saturday, February 23rd
I really, really, really, really, really really hate this layout. I'm not kidding. I want it to die.

Noooo... It's not because I saw the new design for
OBsession. It's not! Stop looking at me that way! Stop it!

Hoohooh. Nellie got on another creative bus to funky
town and she decided to write a lovely poem to Orlando.

Aww.... Ain't that cute and not at all scary?


-nellie


Friday, Febuary 22nd
Heeh! Guess what I made my Legolas-obssessed friend for her birthday? (No, not Ali, but Ali, you gotta tell me when your b-day is)

I made her: (get ready! get ready! get PUMPED! PUMP IT UP!)

The Book of Orlando and Legolas

It's so fricken' pretty. I stayed up for SEVEN HOURS
looking at Orli pictures. You have no idea what that does to
my saliva glands. I can't even spit at the mean boys that
sit behind me in English anymore. But it was soooooo
worth it. FORTY-TWO PICTURES and at least 7 sticker sheets of little fluffy bunnies and little Spanish dancing girls. I tried to make a wedding manipulation of her and Legolas, but I got waayyyyyy too jealous and so I slammed that Photoshop right smack on the ground.

*sigh* I want it back now, but I think that would be rude to tell her. Even if it was her 17th birthday. She's also my stand partner in orchestra and the only one who understands me and my pissed-off attitude at the judges who gave Sarah Hughes the gold. And the fact that there's little cows in our school's new "Milk Machine" with Enrique "The Church" Iglesias thrusting his hips in an odd and frightening manner on the side of it. We think the cows are going to start unionizing any time now. Especially the banana cows that are spouting the absolutely disgusting banana milk.

But anyway. Back to ice skating.

I thought Michelle, Irina, then Sasha. Like it was in the short program.

But noooooooooooooooooooooooooo.... Stupid fricken' Olympic judges.

It's ALL rigged. ALL OF IT.

Ali. Come on, babe. You gotta gimme something. Somethinnnggggg.... To hollllllld on toooooooooo............... WITHOUT YOoooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuu...

Yeah. Anyway. Don't make me email you, because that takes precious time that takes away from me making several thousand trips to Nine and looking at the extensive list of pictures.

Dammit. I'm being selfish again.

*slaps self*

BTW, the lights may be a little out on the Legolog for about a week starting on the 27th seeing has how my webhost has ripped me off so badly.

-nellie


Monday, February 18/9th
Hey, Nellie here. Guess what you should do RIGHT NOW?

No, you definitely should not be licking Orlando's pictures. Makes 'em all curly and then they don't glue properly in your Wedding albums, and when you get married, he won't like that. He'd be jealous of the pictures.

Anyway. Muwaha. Ha. HA. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Whooooooh. Crackin' myself up. Ali, I'm not kidding. Get yer Australian arse over here and log something. *points at self* See this? This soon will be the formation of a new nut. Planters'll be changing their company name to "Nellie." The little woodpecker'll be making little Nellie sculptures.

Dangit. Off-track again. Guess what you should do!

You should go VOTE FOR US in the Master Elf competition.

Why? Cos, hello? Legolog? We log stuff! And, plus, we're totally sexy and you know you want to vote for us and not for the unabashedly beautiful Greenleaf. Damn them and their prettiness. *scowls*

I'm not jealous. I'm not.

No, really. Gotta go study for bio. Soon will be disecting fetal pigs. I'll bet-

OH MY GOD! I DIDN'T GET TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY CRAPPY AMC CANTERA MOVIE EXPERIENCE!!!!

Kay, so, stupid me. I didn't buy my LOTR tickets online this time, and so I went to the AMC Cantera movie theatre in Warrenville, Illinois, thinking that I'm gonna get me some Lego Lovin' last night. Oohhh. No. NO SUCH THING.

Guess what the stupid damn fricken flashing board said about LOTR, nominated for 13 Oscar Awards and containing the hottest piece of male flesh ever seen on this entire continent (along with James Marsters, but that's debatable)?
SOLD FRICKEN OUT.

I was so pissed, I was so ready to not give 'em my business. (Orlando didn't get any business last night, I can tell you, because I stuck pins in a voodoo doll representing every woman who came within a mile of his Elven-Character-Sexiness)

So, fuming, I buy a ticket for Big Fat Liar.

Oh, but being sold out was not going to stop my sister and I. We were fricken' DETERMINED to see it again. We wanted some Lando Lovin. Lots of it.

So, we walk in sneakily in the LOTR theatre. Previews are on. We look around. ABSOLUTELY NO SEATS available except way in the very first row and a space between every family there. And there were no hot guys to ask if I could sit on their laps, which I would've easily done cos I'm aforementioned sexy and 123 pounds, 5'8 inches of pure Godess. (Well, this is according to my cat, but he's 19 so he may not be so reliable). So, my sister and I debate it. We creep into the front row, and I am overtaken with the largest shot of Dennis Quaid's nostrils I've ever seen in my entire life. Eyes are burning with indignation, and I realize that Gimli is gonna be, like, huge. I realize I cannot sit in front for an hour and wait until Legolas comes on, no matter how much I love him. We wonder if we should sit on the stairs, but there was a puddle that looked remarkably like a combination of congealed butter and pee, so we decided that maybe it was not so worth it. (We paid SEVEN DOLLARS FOR MOVIE TICKETS. SEVEN. I can get them at 3.50$ for the movie theatre in Danada. Ugh. SCREW AMC THEATRES, but they were the only ones showing LOTR.)

So we watched Big Fat Liar, and when an Army commercial came on, I was blubbering.
"Orlando was in Black Hawk Down! ORLANDO! I LOVE YOU!"

We could've snuck into two theatres for Black Hawk Down, heeeeeee. But I was more fond of the Legolas look. I swear, one day, I'm going to take over Canada and watch the second LOTR a billion times until I pass out in the back of the theatre.

Whoah, so was that a long log or WHAT?

Orlando, I dove you muchly. G'night, cutie.

-nellie

Thursday, February 14th
Hm. Looks like there were two Thursdays this week. Anyhoo, Orlando, I wrote you a bit of a scary letter.

Mraha! CONVERSATION HEARTS!
-nellie (who wants ali to provide comic relief, as akward silences have happened upon the Legolog)

Thursday, February 13th
God, I'm tired. Bad, bad week. May have failed spanish test, because forgot that pluscuamperfecto was "habia" and not "hacia." Crap. And got a 75 on Geometery, which NEVER EVER HAPPENED before. It's my worst grade ever in geometery. God. Ugh. I wish my dear Orlando were here to kiss it all away... A girl can only wish.

Okay, so pretty soon I have to move to a new host, as it turns out that my old host (thinkhost.com) was charging me 35$ a MONTH (I thought year, it wasn't made clear, rhyming all this with dear) for 300 mb. So very pissed. My parents are as well and my mom won't pay for my new webhost unless I make her a new layout for her website. Which'll be kinda hard cos she'll be picky about it. *sigh*

I dove the people who signed the guestbook.

Orlando, would you please sign the guestbook sometime if you see this site?

And not an impostor Orlando?

AND OOH! For all you visitors, I wrote a letter to Orlando using conversation hearts. I might scan it tomorrow for a Valentine's Day treat for y'all. Whoohooh!     Orlando, you so know you want a Conversation Heart Letter. And they're the soft ones, not the icky hard ones left over from last year.
-nel

Thursday, February 7th
Yay with the updating Ali! And oh, found the most lovely snarky hilarious log ever. It may even be more special than our log, but I think maybe not as the owner doesn't think Orlando/ Legolas is hot. Whatever,
more for ME! Still incredibly spazzy over the whole "I'm-Going-To England" thingie. And Ali, my mother is sure to visit this site at any time, without any warning. We could get some freaky referrals from search engines. But anyway.

Oh! I could stake out his tree in his front yard (given that British people have front yards and trees for that matter) and wait until he comes home. While in his tree, I could sleep there. I wonder if Orlando has ever slept in a tree. By himself. That seems highly unlikely as he's a dashing piece of man and I hardly think that he sleeps alone, sadly.

Oh! And in his tree, I could touch his window. And put up signs. And cards. And love letters and belated Valentine's day cards.

I BOUGHT HARRY POTTER VALENTINES! D'yeh think he wants a Harry Potter Valentine's Day card with little heart candy messages in a bag attached to it? Oh! I could spell out:

"I heart you qt pie kiss me be my valentine studly hunk call me foxy."

Of course, all the things I would like to express in words don't come on the candy and I'd need a giant giant candy heart the size of Mount Everest. Most of the words would be:

"Marry me, I love you, You're so Hot, etc."

Wait. Those do come on candy hearts. Orlando, for this Valentine's Day, I will sadly not be in your tree waiting for you, but if you receive 30 cards with scary-looking heart shaped sticky goo things on them that say, "If you ever want the lawn furniture back, you're going to have to come to my house and get it yourself," then, that was probably me. But if the police ask, then it was Ali.

Wow. I talk far too much. Ali, have your layout done.
-nel

Wednesday, February 6th
Woo! Orlando won "Best Debut" at the 2002 Empire Awards for LOTR!

Ahh, look at him! How gorgeous is this man?? God I just wanna rip his clothes off and run my tongue all over his naked body. Uh... sorry. I forgot that young impressionable kiddies might be reading this. *Ali pushes X-rated thoughts out of her head... for the time being* Anyway, go here to read his incredibly cute acceptance speech.

And Nellie, the lucky bitch, is going to get to STALK Orlando up close and personal in his home city! Let's just hope that he's actually IN London at that time and not making movies in the US. *snorts* But even if he's not at home Nel, you can always break into his house and steal his underwear.
-Ali

Sunday, February 3rd
HOLY CRAP! HOLY MONKEYS! AHHH! I'M GOING TO ENGLAND! I CAN STALK HIM AT A NEAR DISTANCE! Orlando, you better lock all your windows and doors. Better yet, make sure you have shatter-proof glass 'cos I'm going to get myself into your house someway.... Also, I'm liable to throw myself at the nearest person who even remotely looks like you. SPRING BREAK, baby! GET READY!

He lives in Caaaantterbury. Ali, your parents suck for not letting you get on airplanes. You think you can
start swimming now and then you can get to Kensington and Canterbury by the time I'm there?

Wait, Orlando has a pitbull mixey doggy. Ah. That might be scary. I may need to grab my cat and bring him with me so he can fart away at the puppy and scare the living daylights out of him. Or, at least stink the living daylights out of him.
-nellie is happy

Thursday, January 31st
Muwahaha! SNOW DAY! SNOW DAY! SNOW DAAAAAAYYYYYAYYYYYY! HOOOHOOHOOOH! And Ali, why haven't we joined the actual Legolas fanlisting yet? Or maybe we have and I forgot... Blecccch. And it's so pretty, too. Also, my mother saw this site. Hooooh. That was very- interesting. Maybe you should keep your naughty comments to yourself, Ali. The shame.

Oh, new layout. It's GREEN. And dark. And funky. Took me two hours. Don't laugh. It's *interesting.*
And hey! TABLES! There you go! And, yeah... Anyway. Erm. SNOW DAY!
-nel

Friday, January 25th
OMFG. Ali. People who go to this website. I love Orlando even more now. I watched the Film Critics Association thingie online where he picks up the little girl and he's grinning the whole time. I wanna win an award and have Orlando pick me up and grace my armpits like that. That sweet little Dakota Fanning don't know how good she got it. Well, she's seven, but... Hey, if I were seven, my armpits would also probably have liked to be graced.


Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..................... LOOKIT THE DIMPLES! LOOKIT!

And when I took the "Who are you in LOTR?" test, I got Legolas. HAH! There you go. Say it with me now: SOUL. MATES. And we both have lovely brown eyes and hair.

I had a dream about Orlando last night. And I never get dreams about people I'm madly obssessed about. I don't remember what it was about, but it was probably really hot and I missed it.

Awwwwww.... Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

If I ever met Orlando, I'd be all:

"Hey." I give a sideways glance up his body, he'd blush. "How you doin'?"

Except, with a lot more stuttering and flushing and perspiring on my part.

YO! ORLANDO! If you ever check out this website... I'm right here in western suburbia of Chicago. I've got chocolate tart in my oven. With nuts. Hey, Ali, check out orlandomultimedia.cjb.net/. That's where I got all the purty picttuuuurrrrrrres.

*sigh* *swoon*

If I ever meet Orlando, I'd probably scare him a little.
-nel

Friday, January 25th

M * A * S * H

You will marry LEGOLAS from , live in an ancient elven palace in the middle of the forest, and spend your days walking on top of snow and rowing ivory boats and just being beautiful.

What's YOUR M * A * S * H future?


I just knew it! It's fate! FATE, I TELL YOU. It doesn't matter that several thousand other people got the same result as me. Legolas is mine, dammit! ALL MINE.

In other Legolas-related news, the gorgeous actor who plays him already has many fan sites dedicated to his awesomeness. And every time I try to access the more popular ones, I get an infuriating "This site is temporarily suspended due to excessive bandwidth consumption" page.

*pulls out hair*

How am I supposed to get my daily Orlando fix now, huh? If anyone has any Orlando news, pics, telephone numbers... please send them to this poor deprived fan ASAP.
-Ali

Tuesday, January 22nd
I (Ali) was lying in bed this morning, savouring the softness of my newly bought pillows, and thinking about how wonderful it would be if Orlando was lying next to me. This then leads to a full 15-minute fantasy of my first meeting with Orlando. It all begins with me vacationing in London. I'm walking down a cobblestone road in a quaint little village. There is a forest to the left of me, and to the right stands an exceptionally spectacular castle with a drawbridge and moat, reminiscent of medieval times. I look down and I'm no longer wearing the jacket and jeans I set off with, but a long flowing gown, and my hair is in ringlets threaded with lacy ribbons. Suddenly, a knight on a beautiful black stallion rushes past me and knocks me off my feet. But instead of falling to the ground, I'm caught by strong arms. Breathless, I look up into the face of my rescuer and it's Orlando! (you were expecting someone else?)

"Where have you been all my life?" he murmurs softly against my ear.

"Right here," I reply breathlessly.

[insert passionate kiss]

So anyway, long story short (and skipping all the sex). It turns out Orlando is the owner of the castle. We marry in a gorgeous lakeside ceremony... and honeymoon in Rome for the rest of our lives.

...THE END...

[end credits]

[wild applause]

Monday, January 21st
I miss you so very much, Orlando. Why won't you come to the western Chicago suburbs and come naked? I don't think the flight attendants would mind, 'cos you're so sexy- and that goes for you too, Mr. Sean Biggerstaff. You should both come to my house naked, preferably when my 13 year old sister and parents aren't around. And don't come in the wintertime.

Do you think Orlando likes chocolate? A lot a lot a lot? Do you think he watches the movie "Dick" over and over for no apparant reason?
_____________________

"Dear Bobby, here is the number one reason that I think that you should choose me, Arlene Lorenzo, for the win a date with Bobby Sherman contest in the June issue of Tiger Beat Magazine. Number one, I love you. And umber two, I just think you're- cute. BUt the main reason that I think you should pick me, arlene lorenzo, is because we're soulmates, Bobby."
"You're so brilliant, Arlene."
"So what do we have so far?"
"Dear Bobb- y."
"Mm, I think maybe I can type faster than you."
_____________________
This was Nellie, if you couldn't tell. Ali, I miss you.

Saturday, January 19th (US time)
Gettin' high on my paint fumes, and I swear, Orlando was in my bedroom naked. Well, I had to redo closet and had to take down shrine (I refused to take down all the Orlando pictures so my dad took them off for me) (closet looks like Mariah Carey's on MTV cribs 'cept the size of a small NY apartment (my bed fits in there!) and all that.) Whoohoh. Paint. Parentheses. Orlandooo.

Orlando is most of my favorite things..... Hey, Ali? How about we have a members update system? I get one, you get one, I get one, you get one... Like, I get Orlando one night, you get him the next night, and etc.
(edited to add that I love Orlando just as much as Ali does. We're equally in obssessive love.)

AND ALSO- there's another Orlando Blog on the web! I can't believe this! But they started it BEFORE us which makes us so... Un-cool. *cries*
-Nel

Saturday, January 19th
We have another member! YAY, Justine! She loves Orlando almost as much as I (Ali) do. Almost.

ORLANDO, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WHISKERS ON KITTENS AND WARM WOOLEN MITTENS!
-Ali


Friday, January 18th (American time)
Ali, you lucky bitch. You actually were in the vicinity of a male specimen. Wonder what that's like. So, anyway, my friend Elissa and I are going to have a Harry Potter/LOTR marathon this Sunday. I have to show her who Sean Biggerstaff is. We might be sneaky and sneak into Black Hawk Down just for the fun of it. And my mom and I are going to see the Royal Tennenbaums this weekend as little sis is off to Washington D.C. to cultivate some anthrax and try to feed to me as Smarties by compacting the powder. Ahem. Er, anyway.

Since my life is so sadly vacant of vacuous bitches like the people I though were my friends (only one was mean and sort of didn't invite me to her birthday party, pissed off at her because everybody else was talking about it in front of me) (read: antisocial with friends desperate for some hot 'Landolovin)... Um, offtopickey.


Legolas, your bow makes me quiver.... This picture looks even better when it's big. 'Cos he's smirking and all.

Friday, January 18th
My name is Ali, and I'm an Orlando-a-holic. I got home from a gathering at a friend's house about half an hour ago, where I met this really cute guy. Tall, dark hair, blue eyes... just the way I like them... well, it appeared that one of his arms was a little longer than the other... but hey, look at me going all off-topic again.

Anyhoo, somehow *cough* we got onto the topic of the LOTR movie, and even more astonishingly *wide-eyed* we started talking about Legolas, or more specifically, what a great (read:hot) actor the guy who plays him, is.

Now, my new friend had obviously not been paying too much attention during the movie because he actually asked me, "which one was Legolas again?". After I enlightened the poor guy, he replied "OH! The one with the long, sissy hair!" and I realised that I could never date someone who thinks that Orlando is "that guy with... sissy hair *chortle chortle*". See, Orlando? I refused a date with an otherwise, very nice boy, for you! PLUS, I defended your honour! No payment is necessary, but if you feel like you really want to repay me, my address is 12 ******* Way, ********... Australia.

Oh, Legolas. You can point your bow at me anytime, baby.

Thursday, January 17th
I just realized that I have spent fifteen years of my life without Orlando. That's a lo-o-o-ng time for a fifteen year old. Also, we have a new member! Yay Kirsty! Kirsty from Scotland which is where Sean Biggerstaff is from and is the closest to him of all of us, even though Orlando's whereabouts are unknown. I'm a sucky stalker. This was Nel with her very mad cat who is currently hissing the hell out of himself at the naughty kitty who happened to sit on our back porch. He's trying to scare the other cat away with "threatening meowls" and the noises of his 19 year old intestines gurgling. "Oh, yeah," Hoover's thinking. "I'm a biiiiig bad kitty." Hah. Right, honey, you're only 8 pounds. Whoah. Okay, anyway....

Wednesday, January 16th
Still pining. (Nel). I burn, I pine, I perish. See, my love, my Orlando? You make me quote obsolete teen movies! Thus, with a billion kisses to my computer screen, I write about your beauty. And the way you grin so doofily on the Regis and Kelly Show and how you grin again and nod and say, "Yep, Legolas!" in the grumbly British cute boy way that makes meh knees go "flop."

*knees flop* But your nipples seem to be a tad off center, Orlando. Did I do that on our last trek through the furniture store when it closed and we went in and- we didn't do that! *gasp* That was just a dream I wish I would have, the kind that seem very real.


NO! DON'T JUMP, Orlando! Don't do it! Think of the LOCKJAW you could get by stepping on one of those nails! No kissing for a long time! *coughs* Anyway... I do have the members up on my computer, Ali. And it's snowing here! Whoohooh! Finals suck, though. Wish I had an Orlando who'd come and do a nice strip tease for me. I'd be so inspired to study.... Well, at least male anatomy for health. ;)

Wednesday, January 16th.
So I (Ali) was casually surfing around online (read: desperately searching for pictures of my god and, one day, lover to print out and stick on my wall so I could stare at the wondrousness that is Orlando) and happened across this:

After I started breathing again, I cursed that I was all out of photographic paper, and stared some more.
Nel, I've got a couple of buttons, but I don't think they do Orlando justice. Now I would do him justice. But I digress. Buttons will be up soon. Promise.

Tuesday, January 15th.
Oh, how I (Nellie here) pine for thee, Orlando.

Look at you. *sobs* All lying on the ground looking very much dead after jumping 60 feet off a helicopter in the movie I can't see in theatres because I'm not 18. Well, I could, but not by myself. I think I might have to get one of my love-worn Orlando lovers to go and see it, except their parents probably won't let them because my entire town is full of church-goers. GASP! Not the R rated movies! Anyway. *sigh* Orlandoooooo..... Ali, care to remark on anything? Buttons?